Welcome 2014! It’s so hard to believe another year has passed; and in the spirit of New Year, I want to offer some helpful relationship resolutions for you singles, which will help you find, meet, attract and keep that special someone. Regardless of your current relationship status, it’s important to know you have the power to change your circumstances with positive thinking, affirmative action and a belief in yourself. Anything is possible in both life and love with the right attitude and thinking. So let’s get started and remember, your results are typically measured by your efforts. When it comes to love, it’s best not to leave it to luck!
1. Be kind to yourself .
This seems like a simple and natural instruction, but it is one of the most difficult things many of you struggle with. You can be so hard on yourself and overly critical. Do not allow the negative voice in your head to take over your mental space, when you doubt yourself. Stop beating yourself up for things not happening for you when it comes to relationships. Focus on your strengths and work on the areas in your life you need to improve on. How can you be kind to others when you don’t give yourself enough credit? You ROCK! So give yourself a high-five and SMILE when you look in the mirror.
2. Write down your relationship goals.
My GPS is practically my new best friend. Without directions and a road map, trust me, I would never get to where I wanted to go. Directions are not my strong point. As with relationship resolutions, you need a relationship goal. What are your relationship goals? Are you looking to casually date? Make new friends? Find your soul mate or get married and have babies?
3. Create a list of values and desired character traits in your ideal partner.
Now that you know what kind of relationship you desire, the next step is to determine the type of person you are looking for, when it comes to relationship compatibility. In many of the matchmaking organizations I’ve worked with, they all focus on compatibility in key areas such as sexual preferences, religion, politics, family values and work ethic. Important compatibility is not based on “common interests” and liking the same sports and taste in music. Understanding your partner’s love language and having compatible moral values will lead to more successful long term relationships.
4. Meet 1-2 new potential relationship candidates every week (minimum).
Applying simple mathematics to your dating life will greatly increase your odds to relationship success. The more opportunities you create for yourself, the greater the likelihood you will meet someone special. You won’t know what you like, who you like or how to act if you don’t get enough practice. Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but practice definitely makes sense. How do you improve on your dating skills if you never get to apply them? How will you know what you find attractive in a partner if you only have one point of reference? It’s simple. The more people you meet, the more chances you have to meeting the right one.
5. Let go and release your negative beliefs about relationships.
I know the phrase all too well. Once bitten, twice shy. That might be true, but it doesn’t have to be your reality. I’m a strong believer in the laws of attraction. Let go of past beliefs about what you might think “all men” or “all women” are like. When you meet someone new, do not assume he/she will automatically do the same things your ex did to you. All you are doing is inviting these negative thoughts into a brand new relationship. The new person suddenly becomes a victim to your bad experiences and you start accusing him/her of doing things they’re not doing. I call this self-sabotage. Unless the person you are dating actually behaves in a way that warrants your red flags to go up, give them the benefit of the doubt. Create the intention of attracting a healthy relationship and believe your new relationships will bring love and happiness.
6. Invest in yourself.
Relationship resolutions start with investing in yourself. This investment can be in so many ares of your life. If you need little a confidence booster consider hiring a life coach. If you’re not thrilled with the way you look, you might choose to invest in a total head to toe make over. Go shopping for a new “dating” wardrobe. Perhaps you want to re-organize your room and add a new vibrant splash of paint in your home for a nice change in environment. I did a little research on Feng Shui over the last year and applied some of those principles to my own home to create more positive Chi into my work and personal space. A really easy fix is to invest in some great reading material. Visit any self-help section of your closest book store (or your closest public library) for countless resources in various areas of your life you can work on improving. And if you’re like most people focused on becoming a healthier version of themselves in 2014 and want to lose a few extra holiday pounds, consider joining a gym or adopting a new healthy exercise routine.
7. Make time for dating.
You and I both know you can and will make time for things that are really important. When it comes to dating, your relationship resolution is to MAKE TIME for it! I strongly recommend you put dating into your calendar like a REAL appointment. Physically schedule times blocked out for you to be doing something proactive when it comes to dating and getting yourself out there. Spend that time in search mode such as attending a speed dating event or singles event, or actually go OUT on the dates you set up through your efforts. If you don’t make time and treat it with priority, you will not achieve the relationship goal you’ve set for yourself.
8. Don’t knock online dating.
Many people I know have failed miserable with online dating; but there are an equal number of people who have sworn by it and are now in great relationships. Practice makes improvement, so keep at it. The online dating space is one you need to master. There are definitely the right ways to go about it and the wrong ways. One thing for sure is there are THOUSANDS of singles who are trying online dating and there are genuine, sincere singles doing their best to meet someone like you too. Check out all the helpful online dating tips here to help you navigate your way to online and offline dating success.
9. Hire a dating coach/matchmaker.
It’s tough for you to admit you might need or want help when it comes to finding love. Who doesn’t want to meet his/her perfect partner squeezing fruit in the local grocery store or randomly bumping into each other ? Wouldn’t that be just perfect coincidence? The benefits of hiring a dating coach or matchmaker are endless. Here’s a great analogy for you: A dating coach will “teach you how to fish.” A matchmaker will “do the fishing” for you. It’s really up to you to determine the type of help you need based on time and resources. Matchmaking is a considerably larger investment where date coaching is also an investment, but requires YOU to be the main fisherman/fisher-woman.
10. Find and pursue your passion.
In my book the A-Z Guide to attracting and keeping your soul mate the letter B stands for “Balance.” I mention this because while you are choosing to make dating a relationship resolution, you must not forget to continue to work on your “total package.” There’s nothing more attractive to someone of the opposite sex, than knowing they are doing something they really LOVE. Most people work in jobs they hate with people they don’t like. If you can find the type of work you love or a passion you love outside of your working hours, this will do wonders for your personal life. A great relationship adds value and enhances your life. Finding something you are truly passionate about allows you to experience fulfillment in a completely different area of your life, while you are trying to fill the gap in your relationship life. Happiness first comes from within. Exploring different hobbies, vocations and interests you love and are passionate about, will allow you to attract a similar vibe into your love life.
I would love you to share your relationship resolutions and what changes you’re planning to make, to attract more happiness into your life.