Ever been really confused? I don’t mean confused in the, “I’m not sure which wine goes well with soup” kind of way. I mean confused. Really, really confused.
Years ago, I met two women. One woman was a hardworking, stable, attractive, kind, very normal, slightly above average looking, safe bet. The other was a smoke show. She was hardworking, sexy, playful, creative in bed, bisexual, submissive and overall, the best sexual partner most men never will have the pleasure of experiencing.
In the end, I chose the stable woman. I chose safety over adventure and guess what? The safe bet didn’t last. Years later and because of The Beta Male Chronicles, I’m actually doing a bit of a post mortem to try and understand, why.
My guess? It didn’t last because I didn’t have the same level of sexual chemistry with Ms. Safe Bet as I did with Ms. Smoke Show. Sex got boring and it got boring fast. Then again, I didn’t have the same intellectual connection with her as I did with Ms. Stable. Confused? Me too.
So, why exactly did I choose Ms. Stable anyway?
I believe that I chose Ms. Stable because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. I looked at all of my friends and family and saw that most had married and settled down with safe bets themselves. I thought I had to find a safe bet too. I didn’t want to be judged for being with Ms. Smoke Show, and even more, I didn’t want her to be judged for being who she was as a person. Did you pick that up? I didn’t want to be judged. What a complete and total ass I was. How dare I?
The fact is, I like sexy. I like someone with a provocative nature. I like someone that likes crazy sex. I like someone lying beside me each and every night whispering in my ear all the things she wants me to do to her. I like someone that can wake up the neighbors while we’re having sex. I like someone who touches me in front of others. I like someone who can turn me on just by entering a room. I like someone that has a great body and likes to show it off. Yeah, I like all of it. Great legs, high heels and lingere. Why wouldn’t I? Why would I even bother to fight what I like? Why would anyone?
There is no sensible answer. Not one that I can think of, anyway. What I have come up with though, is some self awareness and understanding.
From one guy to a whole bunch of other guys: Please stop giving a shit about how the woman you’re with is going to impact your social standing or how others might view you simply because you’re with her. It’s arrogant, foolish and shameful. Most of all, it’s a difficult behavior to break once you’ve started employing it. Believe me, I know
Ideally, we all want to find the perfect intellectual and sexual partner but sometimes it just may not happen. We need to just learn to shut up and “go for it.” Nothing should stop you from being with the person that makes you feel better than all others.
Now that I find myself later in life, never married, no prospects, no children, I regret how I’ve not only treated some incredibly decent women but I also deeply regret that I’ve selfishly deprived myself of many wonderful opportunities to achieve happiness.
Don’t deprive yourself of what feels good. Screw mom and dad. Screw what your friends think. Screw it all. It’s your life and her life. If you’re not living it for yourself, you’ll never learn to live it with her.