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Long distance relationships have many pros and cons and it’s not the easiest of relationships to be in. They can also be very full filling relationships if both parties are willing to work at it. If you have found yourself in a long distance relationship; you will certainly appreciate knowing what long distance relationship tips will help keep the relationship going and how to survive the challenging times. It is always advisable before entertaining the idea of maintaining a long-term relationship if the two have what it takes and the willingness to keep it going. Most relationships go through their shares of ups and downs; and a long distance relationship can add to those stresses and challenges especially in the absence of a physical partner. So do not even consider a long distance relationship if you don’t have the emotional strength, toughness and patience required to be in a long distance relationship. Be honest with yourself and your partner to avoid any unnecessary heart ache.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 1: Be clear on your relationship goals / Define your relationship
We agree that a long distance relationship is challenging given the distance between partners. Do you know what your relationship goals are? You need to be very clear about what the relationship is about and what the “ground rules” are when it comes to all aspects of the relationship. Are you going to be exclusive with your partner physically? Are you going to date other people if the opportunity presents itself or are you treating the relationship like husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend? You must be on the same page and be honest about it. To avoid any potential heart ache or misunderstandings, as awkward as it may be; I strongly advise that you define your relationship, discuss parameters and share both of your expectations.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 2: Communicate regularly and be creative
The foundation for any great healthy relationship is based on trust and communication. This is even more important in the case of a long distance relationship because we are lacking the normal “physical” & non-verbal communication that exists when you have a physical partner. That hug, that kiss, times spent sitting with someone saying absolutely nothing but enjoying their company. How can you duplicate that long distance? This is where creativity comes into play.
With today’s technological advances and unlimited options to communicate through social media and email; communication long distance in my mind is hardly an issue. You can send a virtual hug by text, kisses, hearts, smiley faces, hundred of “emoticons” on I-phone and BB applications to express an array of emotions via text to your partner. With so many people using social networking for business you can communicate instantly in seconds through Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Linked in and personal or work email.
If you want to have MORE of an interactive experience there’s now video phones, Skype and face time. I recall many times sleeping with my partner across web cam. Making dinner, preparing meals, sitting for coffee, sharing stories, playing interactive video games, getting dressed for work, even showering wasn’t impossible to share with today’s technology. It may not be the real thing, but it’s definitely a great option to be able to still do daily tasks once in a while together “online” or through modern technology.
Many couples “web cam” to keep things hot in the bedroom and regular phone sex can help maintain the physical intimacy of your relationship while you are apart. If this is something you haven’t considered, you should try it. It definitely opens yourself up to trying something new and it can be very exciting as well.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 3: Trust your partner
If you do not trust your partner you will never succeed in a long distance relationship or any one to be frank. In order for the relationship to survive you need to be mindful of your attitude towards your partner when you are unable to reach each other at times. If there is a time zone difference communication may be even more difficult. This is not the time to be jealous or act like an interrogation officer in moments where you cannot reach your partner. Many people in long distance relationships use the time to pursue their own interests and take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with family and friends in the absence of their partner. Don’t start assuming the worse about your partner and demanding that they stay home and be at your begging call every time you have a need to talk. The best option is to stay relaxed and encouraging and avoid making accusations before knowing what he/she was really doing.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 4: Be thoughtful
There are many ways to try to conquer the loneliness and the feeling of physical separation by being thoughtful and affectionate while your partner is miles away. You can send your partner mail, coupons, gift certificates or have flowers delivered to them or send as many random surprises to let them know how much you miss them and are looking forward to seeing them soon. You can leave your partner with reminders of you such as a personal item, stuffed toy, personalized pillow or clothing item so that when they are missing you they have something physical of yours to hold on to. It may seem sappy but it certainly can help to have that sense of comfort and attachment when they need it. I’ve given a boyfriend a bamboo or plant that they had to try to keep alive while we were apart. Like in “How to Lose a guy in 10 days”, where she bought a “love fern” that represented their love for one another.
A long distance relationship involves co-operation and open communication. It can be very exciting to always be missing that person and knowing and appreciating one another when you are together. Having said that, when you are back in each other’s arms take full advantage of your time together and do the normal things you do and catch up on all the things that you missed while you were away. If both people are willing to actively work on the relationship and agree to the terms and boundaries of the relationship you can truly enjoy each other and have your cake and eat it too.
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Carmen your post are really interesting Keep it up!
Fahad, pleasure to meet you 🙂 Thanks for your lovely compliment and I enjoyed your personal story as well. For all the long distance daters out there, I hope they benefit from the tips above to help maintain and develop a great relationship across the miles.
I appreciate your kind words. Pleasure to meet you as well.
Carmelia
i like your advice its very inspiring and it makes a long distance relationship more clearer and more interesting…..keep it up
Thank you Deanna! Hope these tips help you 🙂
Your tips on long distance relationship is inspiring. Thumbs up
Thanks Moses. It takes the participation and willingness if both parties to make it work 🙂
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Hi there my name is terra and I have been in a lot of long distance relationships but the one I am in is much more complicated and very different. See, my boyfriend and I had lived together back home but some drama happened so I moved about four hours away from him. Now hes always out with his friends and he never really valls me and he doesnt have a phone I can call. Plus his friends that he hangs out with dont like me so I cannot call their phones to get a hold of him. Please give me a few more tips because its only been 3 days and I feel like im going crazy.. and its not a fun feeling.
Hi Terra,
I understand how challenging it is keeping a long term relationship. It’s even more difficult when the other person is NOT willing to make the effort to keep the relationship going. You have given very little information leading up to why YOU chose to move four hours away or how long you have been in this relationship. You should FIRST ask yourself if your boyfriend is even interested in working things out. It seems from his behavior he’s not really taking your feelings into account and he’s “enjoying” his freedom. Before I give you relationship tips, perhaps you need to ask HIM if his feelings have changed.
Carmelia
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