Millions of singles world-wide use online dating sites for a variety of reasons. Many are hoping to actually meet their perfect mate. I’ve heard countless stories of the various reasons it’s just not working. But, there are a few lucky singles who actually meet and connect with someone of substance. A tiny percentage of singles actually find someone for a long-term relationship. The majority of singles recognize online dating can be hit and miss. Sites such as POF “Plenty of Fish” have been paraphrased as “Plenty of Freaks” “Plenty of Duds” Plenty of Liars”..I think you get the drift.
Even sites who have the perception of being a highly personalized “matchmaking” service such as E-harmony and Match.com rarely deliver for some. The following is a list of the top 10 most common complaints shared with me over the last 20yrs.
1. I am really not meeting the quality and caliber of people who I’m looking for.
Online daters do not have a long shelf life. In fact most online users initially create profiles just to “browse”. They are curious about what’s happening online. They share enough required information just to have a look-see. I’ve spoken with hundreds of singles who said they created a profile only to search for someone they wanted. When their match criteria came up to ZERO, they would abandon the site. What remains is an online profile on the site; just a relic of someone existing at some point. New users on the site message profiles to a person who has abandoned their profile. That just accounted for one wasted email, and perhaps 5 minutes of someone Else’s heart-felt pitch to meet face to face!
2. I’m swamped with over 50 messages a day.
This is a common challenge from some of the ladies I’ve spoken with. Any woman whose the least bit attractive will be swarmed with emails ,winks, nudges and annoying messages to chat from the most incompatible men drawn to their profile only for their looks! Over a period of time, these women begin to realize there’s a lot of frogs messaging them. They realize getting to a Prince will give you plenty of warts, a migraine, a few sleepless nights and many hours wasted filtering through all the “hey baby you’re hot” emails in search of a decent and genuine “normal” warm-blooded male.
3. I don’t get any messages.
Next is the polar opposite of the swamped with emails dilemma. If you ever had an ego, online dating can quickly squash that in about a week’s time. When you’re NOT receiving messages, you need to have someone critique and evaluate your online profile. Do you have a professional photo of yourself, or is it an unflattering self photo of yourself standing in the bathroom?
4. I keep seeing the same people over and over again.
And unfortunately ladies and gentleman, you will continue to see the same people over and over..and if you are..then YOU are one of them.
5. I’ve joined a few sites and they are all the same.
Have you ever been to a restaurant and the foods the same but the menu looks a little different. The same is true for online dating sites. You can bake a cake and cover it up with different types of icing…but underneath, it’s the same filling. Online daters join up to 5 different sites. Some all at once, and some right after the other. Many singles I’ve spoken with have been dating online for YEARS!! A month here, a month there. If they are really bored or motivated..they may actually check their profile once a week for 6 months and that’s making a real effort!
6. It’s like a game. I am not meeting anyone who is actually looking for a relationship.
I cannot repeat how many situations where both men and women have used that phrase “I meet a lot of players”. Usually the game starts with identifying the picture of their target. Either the man or the woman whose interested; casts their line and waits for someone to take the bait. Ah! Got one! Then begins the courtship. The length of time of the courtship depends on the patience of the person. Of course I’m seeking a long-term relationship and I LOVE kids! NO, you don’t look fat in those pants, I like a woman with curves. The game is over when the pursuer has taken what they wanted, or they’ve gotten bored and moved on.
7. It’s turned into an addiction.
It has been suggested a few times that there should be an”Online daters anonymous”group formed. We should call it “On-Anon”
8. Confidentiality is a huge concern.
There is absolutely no screening involved with online dating. So date at your own risk. If you don’t post a picture, you’d have a better chance at winning the lottery than VER getting noticed on an online dating site.
9. The people I meet are nothing how they describe themselves to be.
Expect that 80% of the people you will meet online will have lied about something! And when it’s their physical appearance, this is the most annoying to most. How many times has someone told me that the person they met, looked NOTHING like the photo they posted.
10. There’s a lot of rejection.
Oh yes. The pains and joys of dating online. You have to have tough skin to date online. You are entering a world of daters that don’t know what they want. They still haven’t gotten over their last ex. They are playing the field and always have their watch for the next most suitable, more attractive and newer better model of the person they’re dating NOW.
Despite the complaints listed above, you may still be able to find love online. Remember; with all things you want to be successful, you need to put in the time and effort to make it happen.