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As a Matchmaking expert for almost 20 years I’ve heard thousands of personal stories from singles North American wide about their challenges and frustrations with online dating. Although there’s never a SURE way of avoiding these challenges, being AWARE of them is something that will help you eliminate possible mismatches and time wasters for the singles looking for something “serious”.
1. People never want to meet in person
Understand that online dating for many is fast and EASY. There is no actual screening of it’s members and anyone with an email address can CREATE a profile. In fact a person can create multiple profiles as a single man or woman! The monthly fees for paid dating sites are not that costly, so stretching the truth about their qualities work to their advantage in order to attract someone that they would not otherwise have a chance to do so in the real world. If you have not made enough of a connection with a prospective partner..move on. Don’t waste time with online profiles of people that are “too busy” to meet or come up with multiple excuses and reasons why they can’t get together…no matter how attractive they may seem to you. It’s not REAL until you’ve met them.
2. People always LIE about their age
It is inevitable that people will lie about their age anywhere from 5 to 10 yrs! You are dating ONLINE. This is a friendly reminder that you can be whatever age you want and change it depending on your mood or how young you feel that day. It is very common for people to lie about their age, so just expect that up to 50% or more of the profiles that list their age are actually much older or younger than their actual age based on who they are trying to attract. So unless you are one of the carnival “Guess your age or weight” by 3 yrs or 5 pounds and possess psychic abilities, you will have to judge someone’s age based on their photos and hope they are telling the truth.
3. It seems like all they are interested in is just sex
REALITY CHECK, you are on an online dating site and you are dealing with SINGLE people looking for…..well relationships and SEX. For many singles, including those wanting and seeking a long term relationship, SEX is on the brain and it is a subject and topic that will come up most times sooner than later. There are compatibility tests on many online sites that may provide you with some insight as to this person’s sexual “rating”. Are they more conservative or are they more like the Ron Jeremy types? If you are arranging a meeting and date for the first time, you may want to casually broach the subject to avoid any unnecessary embarrassing moments. But my suggestion always for the first date is to be in public, coffee or tea, closer to mid day so you can exit if the chemistry is not there..but keep your options open for a longer date if sparks are flying.
4. It seems like an online meat market
Online dating IS an online “meat market”. There’s plenty of meat and plenty of shopper’s looking to find some prime steak. The disadvantage to this environment is that it breeds a mentality that there’s always something bigger and better and juicier waiting or around the corner. If you are lucky enough to find someone compatible that you want to explore an exclusive relationship with then you may want to see if your new catch still has an active profile or if they’ve taken it “offline”. This is a big indicator of whether or not your new potential mate is as interested in exploring an exclusive relationship with you or still “up for sale”.
5. I waste a lot of time online and I never seem to get a response
First things first. Have you looked at your online profile? Have you asked your close friends and family to look at it and offer critique? Are you just another boring profile that states you like long walks on the beach and traveling? Your profile needs to be ATTRACTIVE and INTERESTING and noticeable in the crazy competitive world of online dating. There are countless dating experts and tips on “How To” make your profile stand out and get noticed. Your PHOTO should be a professional photo and one of YOU..not you and your buddies, or a cropped picture of you and your ex girlfriends’ face cut off with your arm beside her. Not cool!
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