Guest Author: Logan Mathis is a 25 year old who created the self-improvement website Selfblend. He has a degree in English and currently lives in southern Illinois.
The first date is very important. In a sense, it’s the first impression of what it’s like to date you. Because of this, it’s crucial that you stay on point through out your first date. Here are five things you need to have down to create the perfect first impression on your date.
How to Dress
Everyone has his or her own style. However, a lot of people don’t dress properly on first dates. You have to keep it casual. If you don’t have a clear idea what casual is it’s a style that emphasizes comfort and personal expression over presentation and uniformity. Don’t dress up in a suit or expensive dress on a first date. It could ruin the moment or make someone uncomfortable. It could also give off a serious impression, which is the exact opposite of what you want. You want to stay light, easy, and fun. That is your goal with everything on a first date.
Just like above, don’t take anyone to a serious place. You want to be creative with your ideas; you want to be unique. In my opinion, I would say no to the dinner and movies idea unless it’s at your place and you’re cooking. That is more creative than the cliché theatre and restaurant. The cliché works but everyone does it. You’re not everyone. You’re the person trying to win him or her over. You’re unique in your own manner. This is a good article for creative fun ideas on first dates. Your job is to be unique. Show him or her something that hasn’t been done before. Do something out of the ordinary.
This is the centerpiece of your date. It doesn’t matter where you go really, if you have amazing chemistry and conversation, you can get extremely far. Let me point out the reason I don’t believe in theatres is because you can’t have great conversations when the movie is playing. Your job with conversations is to build attraction, chemistry, and rapport.
If you have trouble with keeping a conversation going, try these tricks:
- Keep the attention on the other person. Everyone likes talking about himself or herself if they like to admit it or not. If they ask you a question, answer it and turn it back onto them. Don’t be weird about it though. Don’t just give a short answer then ask them a question. You want to avoid “interviews”—where you are only asking simple questions. Keep it light and casual. Smile and move your hands around. This is a psychological trick that adds character to your conversation.
- Use the “noun” approach when looking for something to talk about. This is great for keeping a conversation going. Here is how it works: let’s say you ask her a question about her schooling and she says, “I would like to be a nurse. My mom was a nurse, my grandmother was a nurse, it runs in our family.”
Here, you listen to the nouns she mentions (nurse, mom, grandmother, family) and branch off of that. Every noun is a potential conversation. Then you can say, “That’s really cool. Sounds like your family is well equipped for health emergencies (laughs). Are you close to your family?” Note that I answered with two statements then a question. This avoids the dreaded “interview” conversations. If you practice this, you can bet yourself that you won’t hear any awkward silence through the date.
I believe in being old fashion or at least the guy should offer. Nowadays, people believe whoever asked to go on the date should pay. If you’re a girl, please offer to pay. Guys hate it when you don’t at least offer and expect it to be paid for. Yes the guy was going to pay for it anyway but still offer. If he insists to pay then let him. Just offer once and you’re in the clear.
Should you go in for the kiss? Hug? It all depends on the chemistry and rapport you built throughout the date. If you feel a connection and you two flirted and touched each other all over the date then by all means go for the kiss. If you don’t know if you should go for the kiss or not then it’s probably better to not go for it. Instead, kiss on the cheek. That still means something and it breaks another barrier. A kiss on the cheek is a pathway to the lips. It’s a step forward. You’re not going to get anywhere hugging.