Researchers and scholars have done a significant amount of research to create and develop computer systems that can translate human language as a native speaker. However, these programs are still far from perfect. It’s no surprise that people have a real hard time understanding one another… just like 2,000 years before.
A language not your own is often seen as a communication obstacle. Translators and interpreters do their best to master a foreign language so they can speak fluently in it.
But, did you know that a foreign language barrier can be an advantage. Yes, you read correctly! While it can be damaging in the business world – to speak two different languages with the inability to really understand one another – in the world of dating, it can be an ally.
Let me explain:
When you go out with a person you have a romantic attraction to, the date typically involves some kind of flirting element to it. Flirting is used to show a person that you see them as something more than just a friend.
Flirting means you talk in a special way; words and phrases you don’t generally use in everyday conversations. You need to make the speech catchy and fluent so that it comes across as natural.
For many folks – me included – this can be an extremely difficult and daunting task. If you’re not that good at flirting, you might feel frustrated with the idea of dating.
However, talking to somebody – not using your native language – makes flirting much easier and far less stressful. The other person understands you are not very good at the language, which lowers the requirements.
It means you can be a little more straightforward with the flirting and conversation. When you approach someone or pay them a compliment, you don’t have to be original. You can say, “You are beautiful” or “You are absolutely breathtaking”. If you come across as pompous, it can harm the compliment you are trying to convey. And, the reason is that you do not have the sense of language the other person is speaking.
Furthermore, when you talk in your native tongue, you have thousands of ways in which you can indirectly express your feelings toward the other person. It’s all good until you need to be clear about your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with spending a date playing the flirting game. The bad thing though is that many people play too hard at it. They get so wrapped up in the game that they never say what they feel toward one another. They finish the night at home “alone” wondering and guessing what it was the other person meant to say.
If you’re a shy person, you may never come close to what you’d like to say to the other person.
When you speak a foreign language, you can be candid. When you’re a non-native speaker, you don’t have a wide vocabulary to use. Thus, you cannot fall deep into the flirting game – you don’t have the words to use to make it happen! All you can do is have confidence in yourself and say exactly what you want to say. Should you both speak two different languages – you French, them Portuguese – even better! Just use English to communicate with one another.
I spent two months in China, and it was much easier for me to approach a girl I liked. We were both non-native English speakers. So, it’s possible if I used some Shakespeare or slang phrases, she would not understand what I was trying to convey to her. For that reason, I’d just walk up to a girl and told her I found her interesting and asked if she wanted to get some coffee with me sometime. Upfront and honest without all the games!
Do you have any of the problems below every time you try to build up a flirty conversation?
- Your tongue is too stiff when you’re trying to come up with an ambiguous reply to a tricky question.
- You’re taking part in a conversational duel instead of having a good time.
If you want to enjoy a frank communication, then the best thing you can do for yourself is travel to another country and use foreign language to help you. And, don’t forget! Most folks would be happy to teach you their native language.
About the author: Alex is an average 27-year-old guy who shares his experience on overcoming social anxiety, dealing with shyness and improving social skills at his web-site sociableintrovert.com.