Written by Guest Author Ian J – Author of “The Beta Male Chronicles”
With all of the hype surrounding the novel Fifty Shades of Grey, I’m compelled to share a few of my own thoughts on it. Thoughts purely from the male perspective; my perspective.
In terms of the book’s literary impact, its erotica, it’s not Hemingway. However, with the audience being made up predominantly of women, it has made an undeniable and significant impact. It’s being talked about everywhere. Women are into it. The whispers have become a dull roar. The ladies are starting to think dirty. The question is: Are they embracing something that they’ve always secretly craved or is it just a fad. Is this the new Pet Rock?
Before Fifty Shades, men like Christian Grey did exist; men that leaned towards the dominant side. That’s right there are guys out there that were Christian Grey before Christian Grey was cool.
Here’s the thing about sex in the 21st century: the internet pushes our envelope. It delivers information that permits us to research the logistics of any sexual fantasy, scenario or experience we’ve ever dreamt of. And we’re doing it. Men and women are doing it millions of times a day but they still have fear about sharing it. This is why I think a book like Fifty Shades of Grey are a good thing for all of us. We’re sharing.
Fifty Shades of the Same Problem
Here’s what ladies tend to forget about us men. We’re sexually inept. (Myself excluded of course.) Sure, we flex our muscles, make good faces, call
you dirty names, maybe pull your hair and slap your bottom now and again, but let’s face it, that’s not all that you want. Certainly, it isn’t what you should settle for.
So, how do you plan to turn your partner into your very own version of Mr. Grey?
1) You’re in charge: Men can be deaf, dumb and blind when it comes to sexuality and often, we’re completely useless when it comes to seduction. Too many of us simply climb on top of a woman, thrust our hips for five or six minutes and then fall asleep. Ladies, you need to tell your man what you want. If you want the chance to step out of your comfort zone, you’re going to have to get him to step out of his. Do it by using smart, direct questions to bridge the gap. Things like, “How would you react if I asked you to…” or “Do you think you could…” “Would you be more turned on if…” See how he reacts. Feel him out. Warm him up. Gently guide him and he’ll get there. Don’t give him the chance to elaborate on his answer either. Get him to say yes or no. If he agrees, go for it. Move fast, take away his time to rethink his answer or what you’ve got planned.
2) Just do it: Ever jumped into the deep water of a lake? You can’t see the bottom. That’s going to be the same for anyone new to the idea of this kind of role play. If you want to try some bondage and you’re a little apprehensive, start off slow. Tell your man to tie you up lightly so you can eventually get free. You’re in control. Just because you’re submitting doesn’t mean that you give up your sensibilities. He may be playing the dominant but you’re in control of the scenario.
That’s just the first two. I have four more. I’ll tell you all about them next time. (Think of this as your first experience… I torture you by not finishing the piece but you’ll take it anyway it and come back wanting more. )
See, isn’t this fun?
Until next time!