1st date conversation is something that a lot of people struggle with now a days. A lot of singles that are dating, struggle with what “1st date conversation” is acceptable. Are there certain questions that you avoid and more importantly are there certain questions that you should ask? Well it’s important to know how we came to this first date. Is this the first date following months or weeks of back and forth emails, or hours of time spent on the phone like high school sweethearts? If so, then your 1st date conversation will be very different from someone who you were set up on by a co-worker last night and here you are on a first date Saturday evening at a fancy restaurant. The situation may also be you scored a phone number at a bar and now you’re sitting in a Starbuck’s Sunday afternoon having tea. In an effort to simplify what 1st date conversation is appropriate and avoid conversation that will have the other person running, the following tips are what you need to consider when meeting your date for the first time.
It’s important that you clearly and quickly introduce yourself and make your presence known when you see your date. No one likes the momentary awkwardness of arriving to the date location looking lost or like you’re “waiting” for your date. If you are the first to arrive, make sure that you are presentable and that you are looking out for your date. Even if your first reaction may not be positive because the chemistry isn’t instant and it’s not love at first sight, give your date an opportunity to meet you and be courteous and respectful of their time. Each time you are out with a new person, is an opportunity to practice your communication skills and get more comfortable with building rapport. The handshake and greeting is very important so be conscious of the fact that your body language does say a lot about yourself. You MUST remember your date’s name and if you have to, say it over and over again many times in order to avoid the embarrassment of not knowing!
1st Date Conversation Ice Breakers
1st date conversation needs to begin with a certain amount of ease. You cannot appear stressed on your date. Rapport is a skill that can be taught. Not everyone has the gift of gab. So if you are not a natural talker, I would advise that you do some research on how to develop rapport and what makes for great conversation. In order to build rapport you need to make the other person comfortable with who you are, and we all tend to loosen up when we are talking about subjects or matters of personal interest. Easy and light conversation would include “the weather”, or how the person arrived to the location. If you have information about the person’s occupation, lifestyle, hobbies or interests then it would be a great opportunity to talk about that in an effort to try to get to know the person. You may want to talk about how you got to the date in the first place or what you liked about the person to get to that first date.
Great 1st date conversation might include:
- family (not the entire family tree)
- current events
- career plans
- funny stories/jokes
What to avoid during 1st Date Conversation
1st date conversation should never be about anything negative! It’s not the right time or place to complain or vent about past relationships, how much you hate your job, how unhappy you are with your weight, how the current political powers that be are screwing the economy and causing you to pay more taxes, intimate sexual details of your past and how many lovers you’ve had. If you want a chance for a second date, then keep your first date strictly platonic and exploratory. Don’t do any of the first date don’ts. Always remember to have fun. Arm yourself with a funny joke or embarrassing story you feel is ok to share. Avoid being boastful, but this is a chance to impress and highlight all your good points. After all, this is a selection process and you have to somehow impress upon your first date that you may be a great future candidate.
The key to 1st date conversation is to keep it light, interesting and fun! Practice with your friends, or practice in the mirror. It would be my advice to practice with a real first date. It’s amazing what you discover about yourself and others and develop the necessary communication skills to attract and keep the one you want.